The STARS will tell you what you are Leading

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

I hope you have visited my website and taken a look at the River Map that is featured so prominently there. I have a printed 11x17 version that I would be glad to send you if you are interested.

The Harvard Business Review, which I have followed since 1996, reported in their January 2009 issue on a research project they conducted into the field of business coaching. 61% of the respondents said that the coach’s “methodology” was very important when it came time to select a business coach. In fact, it was the second highest factor reported. Coaches often come in to help leaders, as you know.

Elsewhere in the same issue, there is an article by Michael D. Watkins, Picking the Right Transition Strategy. He presents the STARS model and makes the point that your leadership depends on the nature of the transition facing you. On my River Map, it would depend on the territory in which you find yourself. Same concepts; different words. S is for Start-Up. T is for Turn-Around. A is for Accelerated Growth. R is for Realignment. S is for Sustaining Success. STARS. Got it?

Some of the coaching I do is with start-ups. In fact, my buddy Al Heystek and I have our own start-up business. We are working with product engineers to get the prototype correct, and then everything else will fall in place. Turn-arounds are especially challenging because the business, and its people, will drown if things aren’t turned around. Then, there are great businesses that have entered into a period of accelerated growth. They are moving so fast they don’t want to lose control. Others are in need of realignment; they are good, and can be great once realigned. Finally, there are those that are focused on sustaining their success for the long haul.

Question:
Which of the STARS is your family,
and which is your business?

Structure Fosters Freedom

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

Within family system theory, there is a whole school of Structuralism, that focuses on the roles and functions within the family, the rules and regulations, the order and structure of who does what. We can look at a family from a structural perspective, for example, and wonder about where the executive function of the family resides, or how healthy the family’s boundaries are, etc.

Living systems that lack functional structure enter into chaos and in time either re-organize, or self-destruct. Hence, “structure fosters freedom.”

Without adequate functional structure, there is a confusion and chaos, and in an environment like that, there is not a lot of freedom. Did you ever read J.D. Salinger’s classic coming of age novel, The Catcher in the Rye? It is about an adolescent’s need for structure. Not too much, and not too little. The right amount of structure fosters freedom. Too much stifles freedom with excessive control, and too little creates chaos.

Part of my job in working with families and their businesses is to make sure that there is the right amount of structure. Not too much, and not too little. We don’t want people reacting to too much control, or reacting to too much chaos.

Question:
Do you have the right amount of structure
in your family and your business?

Differing Perspectives can Help or Hinder

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

What a fascinating topic. Perspective has such power.

When I arrived at Hope College as a freshman, I came with a perspective on life that had been developed while living as a child in Levittown, Long Island, and Pompton Plains, New Jersey.

Levittown is one of the most studied communities in our country, as it was the very first planned development ever built. Mr. Levitt built his town in the middle of a potato field. Every street was named after a flower, and we lived on Periwinkle. Every house was identical to every other house, and every house was the birthplace of thousands of baby-boomer children. In Pompton Plains, we lived in a fieldstone house across from the hospital and next to the church, kitty-corner from the town hall and library. The five bedroom, five fireplace home was built in 1788.

The cosmopolitan world in which I grew up was very different from Holland, Michigan. I remember when the Dodgers were in Brooklyn. I saw Sammy Davis Jr. do Golden Boy on Broadway. I took the bus to Chinatown with some buddies to buy firecrackers. I went with the same guys to the 1965 World’s Fair… again on the bus - which we picked up right in front of our house.

Holland was solid, stable, clean, orderly, and there was a different rhythm to life there.

What forms perspective? I know that the best teams, and the ones that I personally enjoy the most, are the ones where there are many perspectives. Family businesses struggle at times to embrace multiple perspectives. As time moves on, they are required to do so. As more people enter the family system, and as the business grows, different perspectives arrive. How well those perspectives are integrated will determine the degree to which they help or hinder.

Question:
Are different perspectives supported
in your business and your family?

Human Uniqueness, and “The Myth of Fingerprints”

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

At a psychological level we are all separate and unique, while at a spiritual level we are all one and the same.

When I am engaged in doing “psychological work” with someone, we are working together to foster good psychological health. We are working with strengths, temperament, personality, and behavior both intrapersonally and interpersonally. We are doing inside work and outside work. Our mission is to cultivate healthy self-differentiation so that my client can be himself or herself with the people she loves.

However, when I am engaged in “spiritual work” with someone, we are working together on integrating spiritual well-being into healthy human functioning. Here we are focused on being in the present moment, on letting go of attachments, on becoming more of a channel of grace, on cultivating a compassionate heart… all while being in a family and running a business!

Paul Simon’s Graceland may be his best solo album. One song is titled The Myth of Fingerprints. We are all the same. It is spiritual work that brings us to an awareness of the love we all manifest in spite of our unique separateness.

Adult people who have done good psychological work and good spiritual work understand this truth. They can hold both perspectives in mind simultaneously. The best family businesses help people to become adults.

Question:
As a leader, does it make sense to be conscious
of both psychological and spiritual work?

Needs and Wants are Different

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

If you are a part of a family business, you know the situation. Your customer says they need XYZ, but you know that they only think they need it, when really, in your judgment, they actually need WXY - and the Z thing is a want that will not work.

Human beings have 8 basic needs.

1. Whatever is necessary for physical survival. The old reptilian brain must be satisfied.
2. Belonging
3. Love
4. Self-Esteem
5. Success and Power
6. Fun
7. Freedom
8. Recognition

Everything else is a want.

I was introduced to this line of thinking back in the late 1970’s when I studied Reality Therapy and Control Theory. All human beings share the same 8 needs, but our wants differ from person-to-person. And, our needs re-prioritize at different times in life. For some people, one need is clearly dominant, and in fact it may remain dominant long past the appropriate age or stage of development.

These are the 8 needs that all human beings share in common. Living systems have similar needs, but they are different. We’ll save that for another time.

Question:
Do you give your supportive attention
to needs, or to wants?

What Holds Your Family and Your Business Together?

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

Loyalty. Plain and simple - loyalty is the glue that holds it all together.

There is loyalty in the family. There is loyalty among the employees to the family and to the business. There is loyalty among your customer base to the products and/or services that you provide. There is loyalty to people and institutions, to places that are familiar, to ways of thinking and acting.

Loyalty can be a wonderful thing. It is, quite literally, the glue that will hold it all together through thick and thin, and over time.

But, loyalty can weaken over time as frustration builds and persists. We can end our commitment, and cease our loyalty, if that to which we are attached no longer brings satisfaction. There is simply a point where we can choose to not want our attachment any longer. Granted, we will hold on to family loyalty longer than just about anything, but at some point (and I’ve been there to see this happen) when enough is enough, loyalty ends. Products or services are no longer preferred, and marriages end. The most dramatic endings are those that happen within families and they do happen, as we all know.

If you want your customers, your employees, your trusted advisors, and your family to be loyal, then it is best that you never take them for granted. Figure out what they need and want, and deliver.

Question:
Is the loyalty in your world solid,
too solid, or too loose?

Non-Family Business Leaders Often Save the Goose

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

Everyone who works with family businesses is familiar with the "three circle model," especially as it has been developed in the book Generation to Generation. This basic Venn diagram, while ubiquitous in the field, lacks an adequate focus the non-family business leaders. Too often the non-family leaders within the family business receive inadequate attention and recognition in the literature.

In my experience, these are often the people who are committed to doing whatever it takes to keep the ship afloat. I've witnessed tremendous loyalty from non-family business leaders. Of course, I've also seen some scoundrels who, for their own purposes, have taken advantage of the family's struggles. But, generally, these are people who take care of "The Goose that Lays the Golden Egg," who overlook the goofy behavior from the family, who tolerate a lot of silliness up to a point, who do as they are told until to do so would hurt the business and the family too much, and who bear a lot of the stress for the unresolved issues with which the family is struggling.

So, I would like to appreciate and recognize those who are in the Business System alone, and not in either the Family System, or the Ownership System. Couldn't do it without you!

Question:
How aware are you of the way your
non-family employees adapt to keep
everything in the family business on track?

Why it is Important for a Leader to Grow Spiritually

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

To grow spiritually is to grow the Self, which is the part of us that is at the center of our being and knows that it is connected to the Divine. In fact, it might even know that it is a manifestation of the Divine.

The Self is the part of us that can hold two opposing view points in the mind at the same time, while finding the reconciling balance between them. The Self is the part of us that manages polarities and the dilemmas they create. The Self is actively engaged in the dynamic process of evolution, participating in the unfolding of God in the manifest world. The Self knows that it is God becoming Itself in time and space.

The ego has to do a lot of work to clear room for the Self to emerge. The Self does spiritual work in order that God might be revealed. Psychotherapy is much about the work of the ego, and Spiritual Direction is much about revealing God in and through the Self.

There is a growing body of research that indicates that leaders with higher levels of consciousness have healthy egos, and a strong centered Self. These high level leaders are catalysts for the co-creative process that results in novel synergies.

Spiritual growth has been referred to by Joseph Campbell as the “Hero’s Journey.” It is the blended three-step journey from departure, to struggle, to return. It is the process of self-differentiation. It is the process of growing up. It is the prodigal son, Jonah into the belly of the whale, Jesus into the tomb and then to resurrection. Every great wisdom tradition has stories about their heroes. They make leaders out of their heroes.

Spiritually mature leaders are centered in the good, the true, and the beautiful. They have a vision of the ideal that is informed from the center. They have a calmness and a certainty about them. They are aware of the struggles and challenges around them, but they seem oddly unaffected by them. They stay focused on a distant goal that calls them to work diligently, but always in a balanced way. They are on a mission which some can intimate, but cannot see with such clarity. These spiritually mature leaders also threaten those with more ego. Some of those who have not yet died sufficiently to themselves, are anxious around spiritually mature leaders. Others are intrigued.

Departure. Struggle. Return at a deeper level. It is the path of spiritual growth shared by all mature leaders.

What is a “Big Ego”?

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

In Greek Mythology, there is a story about Narcissus. You may recall him as the guy who fell in love with himself. The story has another character that is most often forgotten. Echo is his name. Narcissus and Echo are partners.

I’ve had many a Narcissistic husband in my office who is married to his wife, Echo. He says, “Am I smart?” and she says, “You are the smartest guy in town.” Then he says, “Am I good looking?” and she says, “The most handsome of all the men.” You get the idea. He asserts some inflated idea about himself, and she, Echo, affirms the distortion as a fact.

General McArthur surrounded himself with Echos. So did Richard Nixon. I vividly recall Nixon firing Elliot Richardson as his Attorney General when Richardson wouldn’t fire Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox at the President’s request. Richardson refused to be Echo.

I've seen business leaders who had a Big Ego, and wanted Echos around them. It doesn't work. Barack Obama, having read Doris Kearn's book, A Team of Rivals, has decided to surround himself with people who will challenge his thinking. That decision comes from a functional ego, or so it would seem.

What is Ego Strength, and Why is it Important?

Posted by Dr. Andy Atwood

When I have someone complete the 16pf Personality Inventory for pre-employment or career advancement purposes, I always look at “Factor C” first. It measures “Ego Strength.”

We can talk about the ego as being somewhere on a slide-bar between “functional” on one end, and “neurotic” on the other end. A “functional” ego thinks clearly, makes sound judgments based upon appropriate feelings, and relates well with other people. A “neurotic” ego doesn’t think clearly, gets wrapped up in the dramatic emotional issues, and makes a mess of relationships with other people.

One of the reasons we make our Presidential candidates run an 18-month long gauntlet is to find out how much Ego Strength they have. We want a lot of Ego Strength in those who are our leaders, whether in the White House, or our house. We want someone in charge who has ideals, can candidly face reality, can help us all to close the gap between what is real and what is the ideal, and can do it all with very little drama.

When one is engaged in personal growth, the goal is to free the neurotic ego from its false beliefs and counterfeit attachments. False beliefs are limiting because they lead to inappropriate feelings. Counterfeit attachments are false Gods. They don’t really save us. When doing the work of personal growth, we challenge our false beliefs, and we break free from counterfeit attachments. Through such work, we find a philosophy (a love of wisdom) that is as centered in the good, the true, and the beautiful, as it is grounded in a living faith in the God of the Ages, the Ground of Being, the Stillness Within, the Source and Essence of all that is.

Lots of Ego Strength is necessary for Great Leadership.